All posts filed under: Marriage Musings

Musings about one of life’s greatest adventures and mysteries.

The Art of Communication

Before Michael and I got married, one of our premarital discussions revolved around how to create our own family culture. Together, we brainstormed different “traditions” we’d like to incorporate into our marriage. One of these was a regular family meeting, a practice which we hoped would keep our lines of communication open and free. It would be a time not only to check in with each other, but to re-center our marriage. During these two and a half years of marriage, our “family meeting” has evolved as we’ve figured out what works for us and what doesn’t. After some trial and error, we’ve settled on a rhythm of meeting each Tuesday to ask each other a series of questions, and then record our responses in a special journal. We call our meeting “Pilgrim’s Progress,” the name reminding us to strive towards continual growth, and to protect us against complacency.

Learning to Leave and Cleave While Honoring My Parents

I never really thought about my relationship with my parents. It’s one of those things where you assume it’s just the way it’s supposed to be, and it’s the same for everyone else. I never thought there were any flaws in it because I never knew any different. Things were fine, since I never had any major disagreements with my parents, or I’d just not tell them things I knew they’d be upset about. During the first year of our marriage, however, it became apparent to me that my old way of interacting with my parents was no longer going to work.

Rainy Day Anniversary Shoot

[Photo Credit] On the day of our proposed anniversary photoshoot with the beautiful and talented Felicia Cheng, San Diego decided to pour on the rare showers and confine us indoors. Instead of romping around Sunset Cliffs, as originally planned, we instead had a session in our new house. Looking back, I love that it worked out this way. What better way to document our first year together than to spend the day in the first place we bought together [which just happened to close perfectly on our one-year anniversary!], and doing what we most love to do together? In truth, we are not really outdoor people. We prefer to spend our time in the intimacy of our own home, sipping our teas, and reading books to each other. At a time when the noise around us seems to be increasing out of control, the beauty of simplicity takes on an even deeper value.